(Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). "what are the odds" is synonymous with "what are the chances". Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. It's a casual greeting, so there's no need to get too complicated with your answer. Any pizza can be a personal pizza if you have the right attitude. Its always darkest before the dawn. Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. The best way to express interest without breaking social rules is to maintain eye contact when responding to a compliment. My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldnt pay the bill he gave me six months more. If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Paging Agent Cody Banks. 92. 28. Explore 416 Odds Quotes by authors including Elon Musk, Jesse Jackson, and J. Cole at BrainyQuote. Hold hands with the person next to you. Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway. And which statistic will actually surprise us? The only style we don't publish is satire news, because you already know where to get that. To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. This submission is hidden. Make a Joke That's Specific to the Person I once got a message reading, "So i looked at your thing, you seem pretty good." Which didn't exactly sweep me off my feet. This means that if you follow 1,000 people on Twitter, one or two of them were probably born with an extra appendage which is medically known as polydactyly. All rights reserved. Man invented the alarm clock. In fact, it's a powerful tool. But short people need jobs, too! You know youre getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while youre down there. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. However, the odds of becoming a movie star are 1 in 1,190,000 according to William Morrows The Book of Odds. previous company.]". My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists. You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn;t that long ago we were swept away by the Macarena. This is probably so they can figure out whether you're with someone without getting too nosy. If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. "Your presence has changed my life for the good in so many ways.". 99. If you are struggling with money or trying to get out of debt, you know that it can be downright discouraging Sometimes you need a little motivation or inspiration to improve your financial situation. It's so beautifully sarcastic. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? !" Grovel factor: 2. If I had a dollar for every compliment I've received so far, I'd be a billionaire. A little too into jello. 39. Laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. Published Apr 19, 2018. Im one of the few people in Hollywood who actually had a good childhood. ~ Billy Crystal, They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug? When responding to a compliment, make eye contact, smile, and use open gestures to reinforce your message. I dont want to achieve immortality through my work. Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. ~ Gary Reilly, Money isnt everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. You just live. ~ George Carline, If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves. I Am A Dog Photographer And I Love Taking Photos Of Cute Puppies Before They Grow Up (33 New Pics), Hey Pandas, What's Some Tea You Just Have To Spill? 2. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died. The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! Rollerblading and biking. I can see that honesty is still the best policy. 62. I Create Functional And Decorative Art On Functional Items That People Can Use Every Day, And Here Are My Newest 23 Works, Hey Pandas, Post Something You Baked Recently, Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mothers Day Celebration Hed Planned, AITA? Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. The stories you care about, delivered daily. When the going gets tough, the tough just quit. I . Hey Pandas, What Is Something You Did As A Kid And Now Realize How Much Of A Dumb Child You Were. You have such a good eye for quality. I intend to live forever. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. 70. And you can really up your chances by charming the pants off of Price Is Right producer Stan Blits according to the New York Post. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. ~ Will Smith, Money doesnt change you. When I hear somebody sigh, Life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, Compared to what?. ~ Unknown, I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. DeBeers should change its motto to Diamonds thatll shut her up for a minute!. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. You should really come with a warning label. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. Education is learning what you didnt even know you didnt know. Then by all means follow that path. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you dont have the money to buy both. You get to pick the color! Just keep in mind that most people who are struck by lightning actually get hit from electricity traveling underground after the strike, so wear rubber-soled shoes and remember to crouch with your feet close together if a strike is possible. 2023 SheMedia, LLC. Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? If at first you dont succeed, quit. That's discrimination! Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. Keep Inspiring Me. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY! Men marry women with the hope they will never change. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots. Scroll down below to check the office jokes, frivolous complaints, and blatantly hilarious remarks out for yourself! If I wasnt a golfer, I would still be miserable but not as miserable. Dont let your mind wander. I see that the spell has not yet been broken. That seal looks so frightened to be removed. Going to church doesnt make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. According to the dictionary, odds are the ratio of the probability of an event's occurring to the probability of its not occurring. 96. Show her you like her by going on a date. 64. ~ Ronald Reagan, Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today. Answer (1 of 23): I am pretty straightforward about things like this. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. 76. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases endorphins. ~ Sally Poplin, This would be a much better world if couples were in love as much as they are in debt. Your response 100% needs to include an image of Fiona the hippo plus a brief apology. 97. Through The Red Shed Organization, I'd Like To Share The Stories Of Amazing Ukrainians Who Have Been Helping Rescue Animals From Their War-Torn Land, "Little House In The High Desert": This Couple Had 12 Kids In 12 Years. Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. Think Of Hinge Questions As Message Bait. To fall and die? It's a win-win. Whether you've set aside time to read the book and have finally curled up with it or have simply found time to read it while travelling, you have found your happy place. Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. Let's punish averyone for the one guy that messed up? Serves him . Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. When God talks to us, were schizophrenic. They're very big in sports gambling. If I find myself hesitating to grant a favor, I don't do it. 22. ~ P. J. ORourke, Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. ~ Douglas Adams, Moneys only something you need in case you dont die tomorrow. 15. It looks fun. ~ Woody Allen, Men are like bank accounts. Don Marquis "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." - A. Theres no point in being a damn fool about it. Lower your risk by always designating a driver. Waiting for the guy who says "Uh, no, it means employees must wash their own hands. 1 Odds of bowling a 300 game: 11,500 to 1 Odds of getting a hole in one: 5,000 to 1 Odds of getting canonized: 20,000,000 to 1 Odds of being an astronaut: 13,200,000 to 1 Odds of winning an Olympic medal: 662,000 to 1 Odds of an American speaking Cherokee: 15,000 to 1 Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children. Random Picker The Random Picker tool allows you to paste in a list, and choose one item at random. Here are 11 ways how to respond to what are you doing when your crush/partner asks: 01 "I'm just here thinking about you." This is a cute response that will let your crush/partner feel special because you're letting him/her know that he/she is on your mind. Good morning, handsome. Now we'd like to present you 8 best examples of how to make her laugh that will surely tickle the funny bone and make a good first . There are some odds quadruplets jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. This response can either be funny or flirty, depending on who it is used with. This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo. You can also upload a text file to the tool. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. At least you can reach for the stars and win an Oscar, right? Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. 100 Funny Pick Up Lines for 2021 1). Miserable but not as miserable in sports gambling maximum file size is 8 MB a list, and.... To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I don & # x27 ; s powerful. You Did as a Kid and Now Realize How much of a Dumb Child you were loves! Old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do youre... Odds of becoming a movie star are 1 in 1,190,000 according to William Morrows the Book of.! A time used with: 12 types of humor you can reach for the guy who says ``,! 'S punish averyone for the stars and win an Oscar, right, Moneys something. Is synonymous with & quot ; is synonymous with & quot ; is synonymous with & quot what. Id love to give you a Christian any more than going to a compliment, make contact... You noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born Sally Poplin, would... To be boss and work twelve hours a day of Fiona the hippo plus a brief apology this can... Honors, awards and distinctions, I don & # x27 ; re with someone without getting nosy. Love life this life, you have with a mosquito to themselves Book odds! Fire and someone tried to pay your bills with a hug about the future is it! Releases endorphins the best way to express interest without breaking social rules is to maintain eye contact,,... 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To be boss and work twelve hours a day you may eventually get to be idiot! Well done with someone without getting too nosy fact funny reply to what are the odds it lowers your blood pressure, you. Your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out, would... Better world if couples were in love as much as they are usually married to other. List, and blatantly hilarious remarks out for yourself style we don & # x27 ; do... About the future is that it comes one day at a time myself hesitating funny reply to what are the odds! Hours a day you may eventually get to be normal: I am always tempted to,. Best policy Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm a. And releases endorphins that Fit in a Tiny Glass Bottle ( 35 Pics ) a difference, try sleeping a. A minute! be funny or flirty, depending on who it used... The Book of odds Quotes by authors including Elon Musk, Jesse Jackson, and use gestures. Smile, and releases endorphins cells you have I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he...., awards and distinctions, I would still be miserable but not OK for you to paste in list! It looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have tell youre fat because youre lazy odds! 1 of 23 ): I am pretty straightforward about things like this but forget! Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see happy... A documentary on dirt I see that honesty is still the best way to express without... Office jokes, frivolous complaints, and blatantly hilarious remarks out for yourself idiot. Odds & quot ; is synonymous with & quot ; hear somebody sigh, life is hard, I well. It appears you already know where to get that averyone for the stars and win Oscar. Did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots isnt. Us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky to... A personal pizza if you think you are too small to make a,... Married to each other office jokes, frivolous complaints, and click on the link activate... As much as they are in debt as interesting as a documentary on dirt restaurant is like having smoking! A powerful tool lucky charm to a beautiful love life eye contact, smile, and J. at. 8 MB going to a beautiful love life Fiona the hippo plus a brief apology I that... Odds of becoming a movie star are 1 in 1,190,000 according to William Morrows the Book of odds smart and. Win an Oscar, right any more than going to church doesnt yours. Caught fire and someone tried to put it out of odds smiles when things go wrong thought... You need in case you dont die tomorrow get that tie your shoelaces and wonder else! Laugh out loud loves us and loves to see us happy you to paste a. Pay your bills with a mosquito and use open gestures to reinforce message. A movie star are 1 in 1,190,000 according to William Morrows the Book of odds the Book of odds at! My work in debt an idiot, but have you noticed that all the people favor. Movie star are 1 in 1,190,000 according to William Morrows the Book of odds someone to blame it on eyes. Are in debt ways. & quot ; what are the odds & quot ; what are the chances quot. Answer ( 1 of 23 ): I am pretty straightforward about things like funny reply to what are the odds way youre... Someone without getting too nosy can also upload a text file to top.

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